Trying to save your relationship can be a very difficult thing to do. There is always the worry that you’ll make one wrong move and lose the person you love forever. If you have been in that situation too, then you probably know what I’m talking about…

Unfortunately, when you think you are doing the right thing, often turns out to be wrong. More often should we follow the ‘counterintuitive path’. So when you want to call your ex is when you should stay cool instead. When we feel like pouring our hearts out is when we should put a lid on it.

I must warn you though, as these counterintuitive techniques you’re about to discover you most likely have never seen or heard of before and at first may look and feel wrong, but have been proven to be effective over and over again in even what seemed the most complicated situations. Like when I tried to save my relationship…

Counterintuitive Technique #1
So the first technique you need to use is to agree with and accept the fact that your ex has broken up with you. This can be very difficult to do and the chances are good that you will have a bit of an internal battle before you’re able to do so. It can definitely help to understand why you need to accept the breakup, and how it can help you get back together. The main reason is because you need to give your ex time to respect and miss you again. The chances are that they are mad or upset with you at the moment, especially if you’ve beem nagging them about getting back together.

Counterintuitive Technique #2
The second technique you need to use is to cut off all communication. You’re probably about ready to close your browser right now! Hold on, because this technique really does work. Here’s why. It helps you to accept the breakup and is the action that shows your ex you are serious. Therefor, by not communicating you are giving your ex time to miss you and time to get over the reasons for breaking up. This moment of space will be good for your mental health as well, and will help you to think clearly. It also sets you up for the next technique that I used to save my relationship.

Counterintuitive Technique #3
The final step you must take is to plan an event where the two of you can reconnect. But there are many critical steps in between you can not leave out! Discover all the counterintuitive and unconventional steps to get your ex back and save your relationship here…

The biggest mistake that you could possibly make is to confront your spouse before you have done an investigation and/or have proof of the affair that they cannot deny. In no way should you let your spouse no that you are suspicious. He/she is already being secretive and hiding the truth from you. If you let them know that you are suspicious it will make it even more difficult to find the truth.

If you ask them straight out they will no doubt deny it , and if you really think about it, they don’t have a choice. If there is no infidelity they have to deny it. If you are right about the infidelity, but they still want to save your marriage, they will deny it for fear of ending or badly damaging your relationship. If they are cheating on you and they plan on leaving, our experience tells us that they will lie to you until the very last minute for one of two reasons, the person they want to be with is not 110% committed to be with them indefinitely or they feel that they cannot get divorced due to monetary or religious concerns. In short, there is almost no opportunity for the truth to come out on it’s own and if it does, the timing is completely controlled by your unfaithful spouse.

The bottom line is that if he/she knows that you are onto them they will go to even greater lengths to cover their tracks, making it even more difficult for you to find out the truth.

Please read my free course on how to catch a cheating spouse

But before we get too mushy and overly romantic about this topic, let’s go into some important details and let me lead you to a relaxed, serine environment (so if you’re too nervous, and panicky about this situation, please take a break!) to prepare you for this great and elating episode of your life.

Now, let me just share some “how to kiss” , techniques on how this experience can be of so much fun and be fairly easy! If you’re already doing it, you’re probably doing it right, since there is no wrong way to kissing another. And if you’re NOT doing it yet, trust me—there’s no need to rush! Whether you’re young or old enough to still be exploring this, you can still learn this skill ‘cause this is FOR all ages. You might even ask “How will I do it?”, or worse, “How will it be memorable enough?”. People who make out all the time can remember one kiss so good that they measure all future smooches by it, and what if your partner is one of those people?

THE KISSING ESSENTIALS

As you become a great kisser, practice some new moves to delight your special someone. These are so cool and rare that they’d make even the biggest players go, “She knows something I don’t!” Try these four kisses, one at a time, and have fun! (1) The Sweet Kiss: pop a piece of candy in your mouth and take turns passing back and forth until it's gone. Oohhh, you’ve got to try this and surely, he’ll be captivated with your sweet luscious lips every time you pass the candy to him. (2) The Talking Kiss: get close like you’re going to kiss, and then tell a joke–your lips will touch and you’ll both laugh and find it super thrilling. (3) The Electric Kiss: rub your feet back and forth on a carpet and give him a little shock when you kiss. This one will surely be memorable, but in a good way, believe me! (4) The Teasing Kiss: Tell him to stand absolutely still for one minute while you’re allowed to kiss him however you want–he’ll go nuts! His imagination will run wild! Unquestionably, you’ll come off as confident as ever, which is hot, and a great kisser which is even hotter!

Now that you’ve how to kiss and a few things on how to get it started, here are a list of the 8 important reminders to be put in mind at ALL times:

1.) Be kissable - I suggest that you use a lip balm, if your lips tend to get dry and chapped. Soft, silky smooth lips are simply more enticing. And, nobody wants to kiss someone with a bad breath, so bring breath mints or gum. Breath mints are preferable, because you can use them in a pinch and not have to worry about getting rid of them.

2.) Test the waters - Pay attention to signals that the other person is into you and is ready for a kiss. Does he seem comfortable touching you? Does he brush up against you or frequently enter your personal space with playful, innocent touches. Has the subject of kissing or love come up in conversation?

3.) Wait for the right moment - There’s usually no hurry for a kiss, particularly a first kiss with someone, so be patient and wait until the mood is perfectly right. Wait until the two of you are alone so that the other person will feel more comfortable and so that nobody will see if your attempt to kiss is rejected.

4.) Approach for the kiss - Approach slowly and smoothly. Depending on your starting position you may need only to turn your head, or you may need to lean in a bit. You may want to use your hands to gently urge his body or head into position—you just want to guide his movement a little, you don’t want to forcibly move any part of his body or hold your guy in an uncomfortable position—but in general you just want to position yourself correctly and let him meet you. As you move forward, keep an eye-to-eye contact.

5.) Kiss gently - There are many kinds of kisses, from quick pecks to sweet, passionate kisses. There’s a perfect time and place for everything, but first kiss with your special someone should be gentle and romantic. Don’t press your mouth too hard onto his–just let your lips meet–and don’t try to push your tongue into his mouth either because he’ll back away for sure. A gentle, closed-mouth-to-closed-mouth kiss is still ideal.

6.) Make the kiss the reason for the kiss - A lot of people (mostly men) seem to treat kisses as nothing more than a prelude to something else, and will try to quickly move into French kissing or start putting their hands in inappropriate places. Good kissers concentrate on the kiss, and they kiss expecting nothing more. Enjoy the experience, and don’t move too fast so you won’t ruin the momentum.

7.) Breathe - If you’re kissing for a long time, it’s sometimes easy to forget to breathe. Gasping, however, or turning blue is not romantic. Take small breaths through your nose as you kiss. Do not, I repeat, do not forget to breathe!

8.) Use your hands - While you should keep your hands polite, especially on a first kiss, you don’t necessarily want them just dangling at your sides. Touch his face gently with your hands and embrace him tightly. Another turn on for the first kiss is to gently caress his shoulder while you kiss. It shows you are comfortable with him. Even if you’re a girl, you still shouldn’t forget your manners!

Walk towards them in the bar and give them eye contact. Lean nearby or reach across them to pickup a napkin or a drink. If the other party does not fall for it, then perhaps try extracting a longer response by asking them a question. Do not use classic pick up lines like, ‘do you come here often? Or ‘My name is so-and-so, what’s yours? What you could do is distract them with an intelligent question, which will put them at ease and make you look like an interesting person. Tell them you have a friend in town and you need to know the best place for sushi or bowling. Ask them if you can guess their profession based only on their work clothes.

Alternately, you could tell them you are great at guessing people’s names from their appearance. When they ask you for personal information, play coy. This is one of my best kept flirting secrets that works extremely well. Don’t allow the conversation to turn into a rapid fire interrogation, and don’t be in a big hurry to agree to everything the other person says. If you’re flirting with a guy who didn’t come alone, just wait for him to come back later. A small talk with his buddy’s about you will encourage him in taking action.

You can make someone more comfortable with confidence and you can challenge a natural, but you cannot control someone’s abilities. And always remember what is most important to put on display: Your personality By flirting the right way you can literally make any man want you - even if they were not interested previously.

If you would like to use a more “high tech” approach such as spy cameras or GPS trackers please visit an online spy store.

The first thing that you should do is keep a detailed record of reported activities of your partner or spouse. Write down the times, dates, places, other people involved, excuses given, etc. Your notes will become invaluable as you compare what is said with phone bills, credit card statements, ATM withdrawals, talking to other people, etc. If confronted, a cheater will probably try to change their story. In fact, when confronted, they will probably try to question your memory, so be sure to keep extremely detailed records.

Keep track of all incoming phone calls. Record the phone numbers, and both date and time of the calls.

Go through the trash, his or her wallet, purse, pockets etc. when they are not around. If your partner is going to restaurants, bars, movies or anywhere else with their suspected lover there will be receipts and they will surely want to get rid of them. Chances are that they will get reckless and throw them in the trash or hide them in the car. If you find anything that you are suspicious of or cannot explain save it as evidence or write down the details and put the receipt back where you found it so that he/she does not get suspicious. Your partner is already being secretive so do not let them know that you are suspicious of them or they will go to even greater lengths to cover their tracks.

Plan a surprise visit to work, or come home at unexpected times, or tell your partner that you have to work late, but then come home early, etc..

Keep track of your partner’s mileage, receipts, credit card statements, atm withdrawals (unaccounted for cash), phone records, etc.

If you can, check your Partner’s call log. Look for an unusual amount of phone calls. Remember, many times the cheater will store the other person’s number as a ficticous name.).

You should never confront your partner until you’re certain that you have enough evidence to make your case. And never reveal all of your evidence at once. Many cheatering spouses will try to make up a story that fits with the evidence that they know about. But, if you withhold some evidence, and let your spouse/partner create a story, it gives you the opportunity to use the remaining evidence as leverage. By strategically withholding evidence, your spouse will start to question exactly how much you know, increasing the chance that he or she will tell the truth.

If you find evidence of an affair wait before approaching your partner until you have enough proof to get a confession or at least enough to satisfy yourself.

Think for a minute about how your partner might try to dismiss your accusations (we were just joking around, I was just flirting, it was a misunderstanding, we are just friends, nothing happened, etc.). You can gather evidence ahead of time if you can predict what thier response to your aligations will be allowing you to counter what they say.

The main thing to remember is to save everything, take meticulous notes and be diligent in your investigation.

For more information on how to catch a cheating spouse please read my free e book Proven Methods To Catch A Cheating Spouse

The best place to start things off is by investigating his cell phone for any suspicious phone calls. What you do is get a hold of his cell phone and then check it to see who he has been making calls to. You don't have to just stop there. You can actually get devices that hook up to the phone and record the actual call. This is a great way to see who is calling, what they are saying, and how they talk to one another.

I would recommend that you get a tracking device that you can hide in his car. This is a great idea ladies. These tracking devices will tell your where he is, where he is going, and where he has been. All you have to do is start asking him some questions to get a feel for things. You could even accidentally show up at wherever he is going. You could even follow him or have a friend follow him.

Here is another really great idea. Let your husband know that you are going to visit your parents or other family for a week. For gadgets I would recommend you get some hidden spy cams. Make certain that you set these up in special locations around your home. Put them near the door where you enter the house the most often. You should also add one to the living room, your bedroom, and maybe even any spare bedrooms. This gives you a way to spy on him even when you are not there.

You should take the effort to learn how to spot a liar. Start to question your husband a little bit. Look at his eyes, listen to the tone of his voice, and watch his body language. If she tarts to get more nervous about what you are asking him then he just may be cheating on you. But make sure that you don’t overdo this. However, do not do this until you have some proof that he may be cheating on you.

With these methods you should be able to learn how to catch a cheating lover. These methods are just a start. Get creative with your ways of catching him.

1. Don’t call your ex. Maybe this seems mad, but it’ll just shove them away further. Continual harassment by phone won’t help you at all to make up. A ton of calls everyday will make them feel scared, miserable and weary. You don’t want your ex to feel this way at all. You ought to be giving your ex time on their own to consider your time together. They will be thinking of the bad times and good times at this stage, however lots of calls will mean they recall the bad times more clearly and they will reason that it is better to split up. This is not how to get your ex back.

2. Don’t be clingy. Nothing damages you more than holding onto your ex stating you need them. You couldn’t make it much worse. You’re only going to damage your image if you seem to be demanding emotionally and unable to attend to your own feelings. You must try to seem [like as if] you’re okay about things. This is a great way to start to win your ex back. Your ex must have space and time to examine their own feelings so they won’t have time to assist with yours too.

3. Don’t plead with them to come back. This would be a disaster just following a split. However genuine your feelings might be, please do everything you are able to prevent this becasue it will just have a negative effect and you’ll not get your ex back this way. It’ll mean further stress as you appear to have all together given up and will be a serious emotional weight for your ex in the future.

So put a halt on your emotions and do not chase your ex right after a split. Right now you need to be preparing to get your ex back. Do more positive things during this time and you can start towards saving your relationship. This is how win back your ex.

Changing your bank accounts

Now that you’re a couple, you may decide to continue to have separate accounts, consolidate into a joint account, or a combination of both. Some husbands and wives, particularly those who both work outside the home, like to keep separate personal accounts for spending and hold a joint chequing account for household bills and a joint savings account for emergencies. It’s one way for each of you to retain some spending freedom and still cover your shared monthly expenses, but it isn’t thrifty if your bank charges you a hefty fee to maintain each account.

If you do decide to open a joint account for day-to-day banking, CIBC offers the Unlimited Chequing Account. It lets you bank as much as you want, without limits, for one flat monthly fee and no monthly balance requirement (additional fees will apply on any withdrawals at non-CIBC bank machines). For more information, talk to your CIBC advisor, visit your nearest CIBC branch, call 1 800 465-CIBC (2422), or visit http://www.cibc.com.

----------------
About The Author

News Canada provides a wide selection of current, ready-to-use copyright free news stories and ideas for Television, Print, Radio, and the Web.

News Canada is a niche service in public relations, offering access to print, radio, television, and now the Internet media, with ready-to-use, editorial "fill" items. Monitoring and analysis are two more of our primary services. The service supplies access to the national media for marketers in the private, the public, and the not-for-profit sectors. Your corporate and product news, consumer tips and information are packaged in a variety of ready-to-use formats and are made available to every Canadian media organization including weekly and daily newspapers, cable and commercial television stations, radio stations, as well as the Web sites Canadians visit most often. Visit News Canada and learn more about the NC services.

Of course you have the same name, maybe you have the same job, you still have the same family and friends.But can you be sure that the situation isn’t a bit different?

You need to think about how your personality has changed if you are trying to make your ex need you again. And put this beside how you were when you both fell in love.

We have to take a peek at how people normally perform when they break up. The person in the street will fall apart emotionally. They sprint to their ex and proclaim their never ending love for them. It doesn’t help so they start to plead with them not to leave. Next they might say they will do something crazy if they are left alone. The last act is to give up and run away from the world.

The bottom line is this sort of thing makes it seem you are not in complete control. If you admit to doing things like these, it is imperative to think to yourself- Did my ex fall for what I am now? They probably didn’t plan on being with somebody they thought would collapse emotionally in the future.

But lucky for you, it does not have to be like this, it’s up to you. Just take a little time to think things through and not let your emotions take control. Splitting up can be a terrible time for the feelings however it usually is notpermanent damage. There is a danger that showing strange behavior after a split will leave a long-lasting impression on your ex and make it hard to reverse that impression in the future.

As a relationship develops we become less concerned. And when people become relaxed they can get, for want of a better word, lazy. If this happens we accept things as they are and perhaps do not realize there are problems. So it comes as a real surprise when things seem to fall apart very fast. That is when you are in danger ofacting on impulse.

What you must do is put some distance between your ex and you. Then your aim should be to work on becoming the person your ex first fell for. As a matter of fact if you work out a plan and do it right you can be better than before.

So, to get your ex back return to your old self. You really have no excuse not to try to win your ex back by a little self-improvement.

A Roman Holiday?

There are plenty of myths about Valentines Day celebrations as well as about Saint Valentine himself, and while they make for interesting stories, there is little truth to them.

One common myth about Valentines Day is that its traditions, such as the emphasis on love and the giving of valentines, is a continuation of traditions from a Roman holiday celebrated in the middle of February, known as Lupercalia.

The truth about the history of Valentines Day as a romantic holiday is that the first instance of the feast of St. Valentine being connected with love is a poem written in the 1300s by Geoffrey Chaucer.

The associations of Valentines Day with romance actually come from the popularity of courtly love, which was a highly romanticized and formal sort of method of expressing affection, one that included a mirroring of the concepts of feudalism, with the man considering himself to be the vassal of the woman he loved.

As part of this, in 1400 these love games went so far as to the establishment of a Court of Love on February 14, which parodied actual courts, instead hearing cases about love.

Another key part of Valentines Day history, that of the first valentine, comes from this same century, with the oldest known valentine sent from the Duke of Orleans to his wife, a love poem while he was kept as a prisoner of war.

The Saint Himself

Another key feature of this same point in history of Valentines Day, that of the 1400s, is that the first known stories about St. Valentine began to circulate. One of these rumors stated that St. Valentine helped couples to marry when a Roman emperor banned them.

Another story talks about a Christian martyr who sent love letters to his jailer’s daughter, signed “Your Valentine.” While these stories are interesting, there is in fact no proof in the history of Valentines Day that these events actually happened.

The moment in history that sets Valentines Day as a holy day stems from a decree by Pope Gelasius in 496, declaring February 14 as the feast of Saint Valentine. However, when declaring Valentine to be a saint, the pope himself was evasive as to who Valentinus was or what he had achieved.

The best guess that historians can come up as to his identity is one of three martyrs who died more two centuries prior to the decree. So, even this key moment, the ultimate source of all Valentines Days in history, is muddled up in speculation. But despite the myths and uncertainty about how and why Valentines Day began, history has shown it to be an enduring and popular holiday, even today.