Why Won’t My Ex Call Me Back?
Do you find yourself asking When will my ex call back? more than you ask yourself any other question these days? Does he ignore your messages and never call back? Do you beg, plead and cry into his answering machine hoping he will finally give in and give you a ring?
Sometimes trying too hard is your biggest problem. The best thing you can do at this point is to step back, take a few breaths, and devote some serious effort to really finding out what you want and need from your ex. There is a good strategy for getting him to return your call, but if you are not ready with a step by step plan the whole thing will end in disaster. Again.
There is a formula that is almost like magic to make your ex want to return your phone call, but until you know exactly what you are doing, do not do anything at all. Instead, ask yourself a few key questions and be completely honest with your answers?
- Why do I need him to return my calls so badly? Is it just to take care of details (who is picking up the dog at the vet, come get your stuff off my couch, that sort of thing) or am I hoping for something more?
- Am I secretly hoping to patch up our relationship and get him to come back to me?
- Was our old relationship so wonderful that it is really not best to just let it go?
- What special things did I love about him?
- Why did he fall in love with me in the first place?
- Did he ever hit me or threaten me with physical abuse? Hint: If the answer to this one is “yes”, even one time, DO NOT try to get him back. Do not contact him. Walk away and start a new life. You don’t deserve abuse.
After you have answered all those questions honestly, if you still want him to call you back, there are steps you can take that will put you on the right track. It is all set forth in a little book called The Magic of Making Up, which you really need to get your hands on before you set forth on your own to get your ex back (or to just get him to call you back so you can find out where he left the can opener).
The Magic of Making Up is not simply a book. It is a whole system for repairing damaged relationships (or keeping them healthy to begin with) created by a down to earth guy named T.W. Jackson. T.W. doesn’t have a PhD or any other sheepskins hanging on his wall — but he knows people and relationships and has helped over ten thousand people around the world keep their relationships healthy.
In a nutshell, the strategy for getting your ex to call you back is simple: Don’t beg, don’t lie. Stir up his curiosity and appeal to his self interest. If you handle things right, you will have him calling you back and practically thinking it was his own idea to call you. The whole plan can’t be covered in one short article, so you must read the book first so you do nothing to cause further damage to your relationship. If you don’t plan ahead, he might return your call and catch you unprepared for what to do next.
